Do Your Children Determine Your Self Worth?

I remember sitting on my deck many years ago very discouraged as a mother. One of my children had made a bad decision. Well, make that two children.

I won’t go into the details or their identity but it was uncanny that these two situations were almost more than I could bear at the time. And they were totally unrelated.

A lot of questions went through my mind and heart that day.

Would this determine my self worth?

Was I a failure just because they had made some wrong choices?

Would this take me to a place where I would question the goodness of God or would I trust His character and what I knew to be true about Him?

One thing I had learned through the years was the discipline of giving thanks in all things, so that was my first “go to”!

Do Your Children Determine Your Self Worth?

The Jesus Way of Talking – Love and Respect Podcast Episode 011

A recent social media post had a simple quote from The Language Of Love & Respectwhich hundreds of people commented on and shared.  The quote was about the Jesus way of talking within marriage and relationships. Emerson and Jonathan discuss this during today’s episode, including how to speak words that are Truthful, Uplifting, Forgiving, Thankful, and Scriptural (T.U.F.T.S.).

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE and on Stitcher HERE.

Episode 011 The Jesus Way Of Talking

Because God Loves Me, I Do Not Have to Apply Love and Respect [Video]

Few people who claim they believe in God would say He is a dictator.

For instance, in marriage they would never argue that God is unfair and mean for His command in Ephesians 5:33 to husbands to love and wives to respect.

They are an exception.

Instead, they creatively claim God is love and He would never expect them to do something in marriage at this stage with an indifferent and insolent spouse.

“It would be unfair for me to apply love and respect to my spouse because my spouse will not respond. I have tried this for years to no avail. My God is a God of love, full of grace and mercy. He would never expect me to put on love and respect toward my unresponsive and undeserving spouse.”

Their point? Ephesians 5:33 does not apply to them. They are an exception.

Get the Hell Out of Your Marriage

Nate & Michelle Johnson went to hell & back in their marriage. Their testimony is a powerful example of what God can do when we trust Him! This is truly an Ephesians 3:20 story!

Michelle writes:

Doctors diagnosed me with ADHD, Bi-polar, chronic depression, personality disorder and schizophrenia. Over the years we battled with so much addiction in both of us, in different forms, at different times. Nate and I have had our road trips to hell and back, that is for sure.  

Our last bout was the enemy’s one last shot to completely destroy our family. Our home life was a mess so my husband spent his time focusing on his work and ministry.

Yes, we were in ministry! He might be failing at home but outside the house he was doing “great things in the Lord.”

Get the Hell Out of Your Marriage

We Believe in Miracles!

“Our Marriage is Like a Dream…It’s a Miracle! And only with God’s guidance in His Word and from your Love and Respect series has this been possible.”

“The changes in my marriage are so drastic that it can only be attributed to a miracle…and my children will be blessed because of it. This truly does make a difference for generations to come.”

“God has used this message to transform us and our marriage. We are amazed at the miracle and work He is doing in us individually and in our marriage.”

We are always thrilled when we hear comments such as these following our Love and Respect Marriage Conference! Marriage is hard. No one knows that more than my wife Sarah and me! That’s why we’d like to personally invite you to join us at one of our LIVE marriage conferences. You too can experience a miracle in your marriage!

Watch this video to learn more…

Five Ways to Provoke Your Kids Without Really Trying

While Emerson was writing Love & Respect in the Family, our son David told him that he felt his dad was always attempting to explain why he was telling him whatever it was he wanted him to understand.

Now if you followed that…. you realize David knew Emerson wanted to understand him, but rarely felt he did.

Understanding our kids is one of the 6 major ways to show that we love them as Emerson explains in the family book. And in doing that, hopefully it will be one of those motivational things for them to show us respect.

Five Ways to Provoke Your Kids Without Really Trying

Learning To Love Again – Love And Respect Podcast Episode 010

Emerson and Jonathan deal with a very difficult issue in this week’s podcast. How can a person learn to love again after they have reached the point where they do not believe they are “in love”?  And what does the Bible say about exiting a marriage? The discussion centers around a recent blog that Emerson wrote that in a three month period had over 20,000 views.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE and on Stitcher HERE.

Episode 010 Learning To Love Again

The #1 Reason a Person Declares, “I Want to Do This Love and Respect Thing But Can’t!” [Video]

Over the years, I have heard spouses complain, “I cannot do this love and respect thing.”

They refer to God’s command in Ephesians 5:33. Husbands are to love and wives respect.

My heart goes out to them. Sarah and I fall short as well.

I ask them to explain and I hear one main reason.

“My spouse is too unlovable and unrespectable.”

I agree. There is no perfect spouse.

Is My Spouse Good or Evil?

Q: I have heard you refer to “good will” a lot. What does that really mean and how do I know if my spouse has good will or evil will toward me?

Dr. E says: Good question! The line between good and evil will can certainly get blurred when couples are spinning on the Crazy Cycle! Let me try to unpack this in less than 1,000 words.

Good intentions, poor delivery.

A simple definition of good will is “the intention to do good toward the other person.”

But there is much more to it than that. A spouse may intend to do good, but fail to deliver. Good intentions do not necessarily guarantee good results.

Is My Spouse Good or Evil

I Wanted to Quit My Marriage

Have you ever tried to apply Love and Respect to your marriage and then wanted to throw in the towel? Galatians 6:9 says, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Let’s hear how one weary wife made the decision to not give up.  

At first, I radically changed.

Something radically changed in me through applying Love & Respect.

My husband said I was like an entirely new person and I fed off of those compliments.

At first, I was totally relying upon the Spirit for His leading and promptings throughout the day. I apologized when needed, smiled, was friendly and learned to let go of things.

I Wanted to Quit My Marriage

What Will Your Children Say At Your Funeral?

As our children were growing up, we often stopped at cemeteries on a long road trip to let the kids get some exercise or to deal with sibling conflict.

That may sound like a morbid place to do such earthly things, but the kids enjoyed reading the epitaphs, names and dates. It made for some great conversations and teaching moments.

It’s so interesting that to this day our daughter Joy has a love of cemeteries. In fact, she lives a block away from her favorite one and almost daily walks through it to talk to God and think about life ….and the reality of death.

What Will Your Children Say At Your Funeral?

Your Questions and Comments on the Family Cycles: Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 009

Emerson and Jonathan review the three cycles of the Love and Respect In The Family Book, discussing conflict, motivation, and some of the incentives for parenting the Love and Respect way.  Additionally, Emerson and Jonathan respond to listener questions and comments about parenting.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE and on Stitcher HERE.

Episode 009 Your Questions and Comments On Family Cycles

Are We Blowing Smoke About Love and Respect? [Video]

In the military, smoke screening is a tactic to disguise one’s intentions and activities by spraying smoke. The smoke acts as a ploy to prevent others from knowing one’s real purpose and condition.

But smoke screening can happen in relationships too.

Perhaps nothing exposes our human imperfections as much as marriage. And when a spouse points out an imperfection in their mate, what might that person do?

Does Respect Mean No Questions Asked?

Q: My husband has given me reasons to not trust him. Am I now being called to trust without question, because my questions show him a lack of respect?

Dr. E says: To answer this, let me clarify the meaning of respect. In the book Love & Respect we address the importance of respectfully confronting issues. We never say you have to ignore or feel respect for the bad behavior of your husband.

No, asking questions does not show a lack of respect. But our word choice and nonverbal communication can be disrespectful if we communicate disdain, contempt, and blame through our words and body language.

None of us like to be questioned in that way, whether we are guilty or innocent.

Does Respect Mean No Questions Asked-