How do I love a woman who no longer loves me?

[lostlove]

Do not leave, God said to stand and wait for him. Do not let what you see, or think you see, affect your faith. GOD IS IN CONTROL. He really is, and he is never surprised by anything.

He knows what is going on, and as much as he is changing you through this trial, he is working on your wife.

God's will would never be for you to leave your family. Don't look at the times you slip back a step, focus on your progress. Don't push for relationship talks at this time. Don't over profess your love. Let your actions speak for you. But don't make it seem like you are trying to work love out of her.

Pray and wait upon the Lord. He is faithful...... everytime!

Don't go over the past, it's past, done. Stop begging for forgiveness. This only brings whatever offense (real/ or imagined) up again.

Work on your future. Love your kids. You can show your wife love, by loving your kids. No one will ever love, cherish, care for the kids, better than you.

Forgive yourself for your lustful thoughts of your wife. First of all, that drive was put in you by God. It is not evil. By focussing your desire towards your wife, you are not in sin. If you have asked God to forgive you, then let it go, he has. Stop worrying about if you were/are the perfect husband. No one ever will be. We all fall short. So does your wife. So does every one else in the world. We are all broken and need Jesus to fix us. Let go of your self-blame. Don't continue to berate yourself.

Next, comes the part I hate the most...... You need to realize you can't change her mind, or her choices. Let God work on that. He will do a much better job.

Lastly, realise that you do have God and the angels of heaven on your side. They want your marriage to succeed. They really do cheer you for your efforts, and God will reward you. He never lies, and never stops working in your life to bless you.

I am praying for your peace, mercy and blessing. May God soften your wife's heart, and you both become mirrors of God to each other.

[Twang]

Thanks LL. I will not leave. I WILL lead. I am so tired of all the self crap. All of it. Poked and prodded and analyzed and the like. I am a good man. i made some bad choices and God has forgiven me.I simply wish to LIVE as God made me to. I cannot walk around in shame and fear any longer. Those are satan's tools. As for lust, it IS a sin even directed at my wife. Lust says "I"; "Me"; "Mine". Love says "She"; "Her". Thats how God makes us. To paraphase Jesus Christ when asked which is the most important commandment; Love.
Thats what I choose to give my wife. If thats not enough, then His reward will be sufficient for me. I adore her and will dedicate my heart and feelings to HER first. In love, as Christ directed regardless if it ever returns to me. If its His will, it will return as the word never returns void.
I only need my heart and mind and body to love God, so that should be enough for any earthly creature. i am thankful for God's strength and revealing. I am thankful and prayerful to all here. Keep Loving despite the hard times we endure. He delivers us.

[michsam]

As for lust, it IS a sin even directed at my wife. Lust says "I"; "Me"; "Mine". Love says "She"; "Her".

Twang, I’m so glad you said this! God gave us our imaginations, so there’s a place for both remembering special times with our spouses and anticipating future times together. But, thoughts of our spouse can give rise to false intimacy if they’re used to avoid emotional intimacy when we're with our spouse. You make an important point!

[Twang]

As for lust, it IS a sin even directed at my wife. Lust says "I"; "Me"; "Mine". Love says "She"; "Her".

Twang, I’m so glad you said this! God gave us our imaginations, so there’s a place for both remembering special times with our spouses and anticipating future times together. But, thoughts of our spouse can give rise to false intimacy if they’re used to avoid emotional intimacy when we're with our spouse. You make an important point!

ty Michsam. I AM learning. i know God will never give us more than we can handle, but he's really stretching me to the point. On top of the fact that my wife and I are dealing with marital problems, My wife is dealing with Menopause and hormonal balance issues (no desire, libido, etc). I am trying to work a fulltime job and now my Mom has been in the hospital with an aneurysm. She's alive and gaining ground. Thank God for that. Sorry f it sounds like I'm blaming God (I praise Him) or whining, just don't know what else I can handle. I know he's shouldering some of it because I couldnt do any of it without him.
My wife is struggling to understand what ive come through and its just tough. She believes that I NEVER loved her. I have left her to twist in the wind and it makes her ragefully angry.
I love her even tho she wants no part of sexual activity. She has no sexual desire for me.
i can still rub her feet or back and comfort her and hope she comes back to me. what ever she accepts i will give. She may stop that or not want that either. I pray She wants to feel alive again too. God please help her to accept me for who i am and that I love now as God commands